is BRIGHT worth hate-watching? I was thinking yes, but enough people are throwing dung on Ayer…

I’m trying some emulation stuff (of flipping Android) to make sure I don’t lose use of apps due to the iPhone battery thing 😝

I just realized I’m still paying AT&T for this iPhone 6s. Paying the same amount for a phone that does less.

I failed 2016. I failed 2017. 2018 has no great potential. It actually has less. Because I’ve burnt out on trying to appeal to new readers. I give up. Can I fail 2018 this bad if I take an incomplete.

I’m either sad or panicked. I thought getting some movie blog stuff done would make me feel… accomplished. But my computer situation is shit to the point I don’t even want to blog. I still want to write, though, which is good. Or not. Does it matter?

I’m seeing all these what’s good in 2017. Mine’s shit. Starting in May or so it’s all been going to shit. It feels like 2017 has been the downhill to a cliff edge and now I’m at the edge and I just want to fall. There’s nothing to hold on to. Maybe some weeds. Weeds aren’t sturdy

Not because I don’t think the wonderful mutuals could handle it but because they could and I can’t talk to people about it. I don’t want to talk about it. Talking about something means packaging it. Packaging it means considering it. I don’t want to consider. I want numb

The plus of having a (relative but not enough to get verified) amount of twitter followers is I’ve met some wonderful people who’ve made valuable contributions to my life. The minus is I can’t really post dark shit.

I nearly got my to do list done today, which isn’t bad given the sheer amount of things I didn’t want to do. Thirteen blog posts, four litter boxes, tub scrubbing, exercise, some shredding. The use of a Bullet Journal helped some—plus realizing Friday’s the better day for chores.

Having some thoughts about what to do with the micro blog; requires a #hashtag system; need to look into how or if those work.

Done imaging the latest Time Machine backup (the user folder anyway) and BBEdit scripts restored. Still need to do Hazel scripts and decide whether or not I want Keyboard Maestro running….

Most of the “setup” for making the slow, tiny-hard drive MBA into a primary computer is getting Hazel scripts ready and finding my BBEdit script folder from the Time Machine. I’m assuming the MBA will burn out in a week or two.

Carbon Copy Cloner is finally copying files after ascertaining the number of files. Only doing the user folder (from my Time Machine backup) bc its to a disk image on a NAS, not to the MacBook Air running everything via thunderbolt hub

Last try

Why isn’t this working…


I seem to be seeing all my personal technology age, wither, crash, fail. It’s all happening at once–iMac finally having R/W errors on the hard drive (it’s six years old), QNAP NAS failing, Thunderbolt (1) hub failing. The MacBook Air being hinky about getting online since installing Tunnelbear has gone from the main annoyance to not even on the list. I feel a little like I’m going back to the Stone Age.

I haven’t been listening to as many podcasts lately. I mean, I’m picking up some more as my wife and I know listen to some together, but for me… I’m dropping ones I never thought I’d drop. Then I realized they’re the Apple-related podcasts. I can’t feign the interest anymore. I’m on an old iMac–which arrived in the mail the day Steve Jobs died–and even though the prices on the new iMacs are great, I’m not in the market. Wish I was, but I’m so far out of it I don’t even care what they can do. Same goes for the new iPhone or the new iPad. Apple has become ubiquitous enough they’re not interesting. For that matter, so has pretty much everything else. The world is going to shit but there’s going to be a CGI King Kong vs. Godzilla. Joy.

But I was listening to a podcast, Black Girl Dangerous, earlier and the host, Raquel Willis, said something about the goal of Black feminism or womanism in being making sure everyone can realize their full potential. It’s the finest ideal. The problem is when people look at the world everyone they see it say “everyone like me.” Even typing it, I’m not thinking about some jackass Australian surfer dude right now or a kid in Sri Lanka. Whenever someone asks me why I don’t self-identify as a feminist, I either have an example of something petty I want or I talk about how I haven’t done the work into learning about feminism. But intersectional feminists do that work. Listening to them is inspiring, how they break down a topic, how they present it objectively (still with personality), and strive to utilize their discussion as material to work toward something. There’s no bullshitting. Think about the concept of “receipts.” It’s presenting factual evidence in an argument, it’s caring about the existence and preservation of those primary sources.

It’s so active. And time-consuming. It’s got to be exhausting. I just got Injustice 2 on PS4. That game’s time-consuming, it’s exhausting, but it’s not active. Not in the same way. It consumes electricity and time and attention. But I know there are a lot of video game players who still do the work. I follow them on Twitter, about which Anthony J. Williams tweeted today, “Twitter can teach you about a lot of things if you sit down, shut up, and listen.” We get to listen to a kid in Sri Lanka now, or a jackass Australian surfer dude. But Twitter is its own work. You can probably guess not to listen to the jackass surfer but maybe not that kid either. Maybe not anyone in your everyone. Or maybe just a few. Because you can now get a better understanding of what everyone is and can be (and shouldn’t be). And it’s awesome. There’s so much potential, so many amazing things to learn from so many amazing people. Intersectional feminism is so obscenely hopeful, it’s beyond daunting. But a CGI King Kong fighting a CGI Godzilla is just a bunch of coders putting the things together. It’s just pixels. Even I’m not cynical enough to believe pixels on a screen are the best we can do.

They may be a fine diversion some of the time, but they’re not the goal. A woke “Star Trek: The Next Generation” is probably the goal. I probably need to do some thinking on it; I’m not sure if that goal was glib or sincere.

A handful of problems aside–almost mostly that awful song–Supergirl had a nice finish this season. They overplay the prince in distress bit but somehow it always works. And if they want to bring Calista Flockhart in, it needs to be consistently scheduled.

I mostly listen to Apple related podcasts. For the last few months, since the announcement of the TouchBar MacBook Pro, all of these podcasts and become cynical to some degree. Still, people seem to have a lot of hope for Apple to come through in the end. I think I’ve given up hope. I think I was only hanging on this long because I didn’t want to people who said the company wouldn’t sustain without Steve Jobs to be right.